(as told by Rosie via Gail for Herfamily.com)
0645 It is at around this time that I decide to awake from my slumber. I was also awake at 4 am and 2 am before that, but now I mean business. I am in their bed already , our bed, what I really mean is my bed. I have been here since the 4am preliminary wake up call. My duty in the morning is to wake up my mum and my dad. They never asked me to do this, but it is my obligation.
07oo After much pinching and pulling I use my usual tactic, which is sit on top of my mum’s neck, that usually does the trick. She doesn’t thank me at the time, but I know that she appreciates my help. She got at least three hours sleep… so that will do.
0730 Time for breakfast. The floor and I will share your finest wholegrain cereal, a little fruit and toast please. The dog will also share. Breakfast for me is like an art form. My mum supplies the materials and do with it what I can.
0830 I don’t want to talk about it…nappy change, but only if she catches me. I like to get to the stage that the nappy is off, Mum reaches for a wipe, I twist and roll and run for the nearest exit. This is an effective strategy and one I would recommend. Getting dressed is another thing that is best avoided.
0900 I love Pip, Pip Pip Pip. Come back I just want to pull your hair and your lovely doggy beard and your ears and grab your tail. Pip!!
1000 Say “Mama” say “Thank you” , NO I will not. I will say “Dad deeeee Dadeeee” and “shewsh” (shoes). I know where my nose is too, so drop it please.
1100 I am so tired . It is all your fault! I hate my life. I can’t do this anymore. Nooo I won’t go to sleep, what do you mean sleep?! I am too tired to sleep…..zzzzzzz
1200 Where are you? Hello!!! Get me! Ah, I am back downstairs at last. Oh, I see you have tidied up. No problem I’ll fix that.
1300 Oh no. Lunch time. These potatoes are best rubbed into my hair and eyebrows. My eyes my eyes!
1500 I usually use this time , if we are staying at home to do everything that makes my mum say ‘no’. She loves that word, so I try to please. I usually climb the stairs, steal her phone, or try to get at anything hot, sharp or electrical.
1600 Swings weeeee. Let me go! Take off this hat and scarf and leave me alone. I am fine. I can manage on my on in this wilderness.
170o Stories yay! Next page, boring, actually just close this one all together…next book now! Pip! Pip!
1800 Dinner time. Daddy’s home. I’ll pretend that I don’t care but really I am just a bit embarrassed for a second. I love him.
1830 Bubbles. Water. My eyes! My eyes!
1900 I don’t love my dad actually. He is trying to put me in new clothes, he keeps saying PJs, who is PJ? Leave me be!
1930 Noooo I can’t sleep, I hate sleeping. I am not tired, as I told you. I can stay up please….I love you. Why are you doing this to me? I am wide awake! I….zzzzzzzzz